Blood Brothers
by TechnicolorGray
Summary: Several years after Raditz escapes from Hell, he begins to experience feelings of loneliness and self-doubt. In an attempt to find a place for himself, he returns to visit his family on Earth and gets an unexpected greeting from his long-estranged brother. M/M (Yaoi), Incest
1. A Strange Loss of Self

Chapter One: A Strange Loss of Self

He told himself, over his many long years of hiding out, that he did not need _that_. He did not need anything but himself, _that _kind of thing just made a man weak, made him _soft_.

Or so he had said to himself. After being defeated by Kakarot, and then subsequently escaping from Hell, he had kept a low profile for what he liked to call "safety" reasons. Frieza was dead. Nappa was dead. The only Saiyans left were Vegeta, Raditz, and Kakarot. (God forbid he count those half-blood imposters as true Saiyans). Then again, he wasn't quite so sure about Nappa – he may have escaped from Hell along with that other collection of ragtag lowlifes – was quite sure of it, in fact, but where he had ended up since then was a mystery to Raditz.

Raditz respected Vegeta and Nappa, had maybe even considered them...comrades? When he had been with the two of them, he had felt like a _part _of something. It had been difficult to explain, but teaming up with them against the galaxy's weakest and most defenseless alien forces had given him a sense of accomplishment that had, at one time, seemed unattainable.

They seemed to have enjoyed it, too. Vegeta was calm most of the time, and perhaps he _did _have a stick up his ass about working for someone other than himself – but the genocide? The raw demonstration of power? That was something that he took pride in. It was like a bunch of kids on a playground, vaporizing ants with a magnifying glass. _They _had control over life and death, and there was something empowering and satisfying about it.

Nappa was a chummy guy, never really seemed to be unhappy about anything. Seemed to like Vegeta and Raditz well enough – Raditz thought that if it had been Nappa who had control of the Dragon Balls, Raditz may have very well found himself alive again a good bit sooner.

He wrapped his cloak more tightly around his frame and shivered slightly. It was cold out tonight, the moon hung like a silvery globe above the lines of trees that flanked the horizon. Not a full moon, of course, Raditz kept track of the moon's phases here on Earth as he had kept track of them back on planet Vegeta – he had boasted, once, that a Saiyan's true power was revealed when he or she looked at the full moon. The power was useful, maybe, for one who could _control _it, but...

He frowned, his brow creasing as he attempted to push aside the negative thoughts. It seemed that more and more of these types of thoughts had pushed their way into his subconscious lately, and he was becoming increasingly displeased with their intrusive nature.

_I'm a Saiyan! _The words echoed in his head, angrily, attempting to overpower the other thoughts. He had always had doubts, _always_! _Why? I'm a top-class warrior! My race may be gone, but we stand _proud!" He brought his fist down in a cold fury, hand colliding with the ground. It hurt a little. His frown darkened. Of _course_, even the ground was mocking him.

Raditz had been on Earth for the past five years (ever since he had escaped from Hell)– he stole most of his food and, on occasion, would demand lodging under the terms that he would _not _kill everyone in the immediate vicinity. It was a behavior that made him more nervous than it had before – what if, what if _he _were to find him? What if _he _were to figure out that Raditz was alive again, alive and causing trouble for the people of Earth?

In that case, Raditz would seek revenge on him! He would show him what it meant to meddle with a _real _Saiyan warrior, show him what life was really like in the Otherworld (but, of course, he already knew that, didn't he?) But there was something else there, too – something that had not been there before, when he had first met up with Kakarot nearly nineteen years ago. He dug his nails into his tender flesh, pulling his knees up to his chest. _He was afraid_. Afraid.

Raditz did not want to die again – Hell wasn't such a bad place, not really, but Raditz enjoyed the freedom of being alive.

The forefront of his mind demanded that he seek revenge on Kakarot – this was what he liked to call the _Saiyan _part of him, the part that would never back down or accept defeat. This part of him was angry at Kakorot, had been waiting for his chance to take a stab at him ever since the bastard had killed him.

The other part, the part of him which had been a curse to him ever since he had been very young, told him this was _not _a good idea, that he should stay away from Kakarot because Kakarot meant death.

Over the years, he had begun to push aside this other part of him, began to embrace the fearlessness of the Saiyan race, or so he thought...in his last moments, he had been begging for his life; terrified; completely at the mercy of the Namekian's attack. He had never gained back the courage that he had lost as a result of that battle, and so he constantly lived on edge, forever in fear that his brother would come back to finish him off again.

It was getting late, now, and Raditz felt himself becoming increasingly tired. His eyelids were growing heavy, even in the cold night air. He lay back against the blanket of his long hair and began to doze. For a few minutes, he lay there, dreamlessly, and then he shook himself into wakefulness. About a half a mile down the road, he had found a family who had been willing to have him stay for the night. He had not even found the need to threaten them, and until he worked up the courage to finally face his estranged brother, he figured that the less he had to threaten people to get what he wanted, the better it was for him.

The tired Saiyan kicked off his boots at the door and stumbled towards the bedroom. Once there, he curled up in his cloak and fell into bed, restless dreams of his father and mother and brother coming to haunt him in the night. He awoke several times in a cold sweat, skin sticking to the sheets, a dull headache nesting in his temples. It was getting worse these days. Oh gods, it was getting worse.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next morning, Raditz awoke to the blinding rays of the sun filtering in through his bedroom window. He blinked his eyes. Although he had tossed and turned the first few hours after going to bed, he had eventually fallen into a deep sleep, although his head still pounded in what seemed like perfect tandem with his heart beat.

He groaned, easing the stiffness out of his body as he climbed out of bed and making his way to his host's bathroom. Although, during his time under Frieza's command, hygiene had not been a particularly big issue, these past few years had given Raditz a taste for the piping hot shower water ridding him of all of the aches and pains of daily life. Sometimes, he liked to imagine that he was tending to his war wounds, that the cleansing heat would soothe the bruises and scrapes that no longer tarnished his skin.

Of course, he no longer spent his days on the battlefield. When he did not have somewhere to live, he was foraging for food or looking for the place that he would spend the next night. Of course, he _did _kill the occasional citizen, but even that seemed to be few and far between nowadays. Raditz wondered, with an unpleasant feeling in his stomach, whether or not he was simply losing interest in the whole shebang. Maybe it was because he was middle aged, now, the youthful vigor was dying out, or (and he rather thought this was the real reason) perhaps it was his time spent on Earth.

It was times like these when Raditz began to feel something which he had never experienced before. He felt _lost_. This was, perhaps, the best way to put it. Digging more deeply, admitting to himself that the years on Earth, and the years off the battlefield; might be changing him, he may have even called himself _lonely_. But that was, in the end, utter nonsense. After all, what kind of Saiyan was he to be getting _lonely_ ?

And yet, Raditz could not help but focus on the fact that he had no one anymore. No partners in crime – no Vegeta, no Nappa. They had been the closest things to friends he had had. And the more he thought of this, the more he realized that he was one of the only remaining Saiyans that still _had _a family; a family that hated and resented him – but still, a family. And how _dare _they live their nice, happy life, how _dare _they! This made his resentment even worse. It had gotten so bad that, at one point, he had clenched his nails into his palms so deeply that blood had started to drip down his hands, and fresh tears stood out in his eyes. He had had to use all his willpower to keep himself from sobbing like a baby – a fucking _Saiyan_ – and he had almost burst into tears like some kind of overgrown child.

Raditz lay out in the sun, stretching himself out across a large rock he had found by the river. That morning, he had thanked his host, gathering up some food before he went, and left without another word.

The migrant life was becoming tiring. That feeling of emptiness was growing stronger, the feeling that life didn't really have _meaning_, that it lacked _purpose_. Most of the time, Raditz felt bored and hollow.

The heat of the sun was becoming uncomfortable on his bare chest, but he didn't bother getting up. When he was not looking for food, Raditz spent most of his time sleeping. At first, when he had gotten to Earth, he had trained rigorously. Over time, with no one to work for and no one to impress, the will to train had slowly drained out of him, and his life of a warrior began to change into one of a forager and a nomad.  
_But I am a_ _warrior_. He would not allow himself to lose that title! He had a proud heritage, something to live up to! _I'll never lose my fighting spirit! That's why I'm going to put Kakarot in his place!_

Though, that wasn't really what was on his mind, was it? And, although it brought great shame to his heart, Raditz began to believe that, if he surrounded himself with enough people, his life might begin to improve again.  
_Why_? _Why did he think that? _Was it because Kakarot did the same, and Kakarot seemed so happy? Or was it that unnerving sense of loneliness that had crept into his subconscious, the loneliness that he would barely acknowledge, because to acknowledge such a thing might mean that he had lost the edge to which he had once taken such pride.

He had been thinking this way for months now, perhaps years. The thoughts had become increasingly difficult to ignore lately; the loss of passion for life a burning reminder that he did not much have anything to live for in the first place.

His race was gone. His planet was gone. His comrades – hell, even his _boss _was gone. He was living to live, each day that went by was just as the last had been.

It was thoughts like these that finally led him to his decision. He was going to visit his family.

It was difficult to accept that he was taking this step, hard to ignore how odd this was for Raditz, the way he had been before all of this nonsense. But, perhaps, it was not that odd. Perhaps, even nineteen years ago, he had been looking for family when he had come to that miserable little mud ball called Earth. And, perhaps, it had been the disappointment of finding out that his brother was not going to fight by his side that had led him to that actions that he had decided to take after that point. _Nonsense_, _I had to fight him, he was the only thing standing in between me and my conquest of this puny little planet. It had nothing to do with him being my brother!_

Even if this were true, Raditz had still been markedly disappointed that Kakarot did not recall his Saiyan heritage. Sad, even.

All of that hardly mattered now, old motivations weren't really all that important in the long run, were they? What mattered most was, what motivation did he have _now? _Why had he decided to visit his brother? _Truly_? Was it for revenge? Maybe, but...

Raditz found that he was _curious _about them. Wanted to know them, wanted to _get _to know them. _Why? _He asked himself. Why did it matter what they were like?

In truth, he did not quite know _why _it mattered, just that it did. Although the cowardice still lurked in the depths of Raditz's mind, although that resentment hung over him like a dark cloud, despite his flurry of denials that he had any _true _interest in getting to know his family on a more personal level, Raditz had made his decision.

He set his sights for Kakarot's house. Gods help him.


	2. Family Reunion

Chapter Two: Family Reunion

Raditz stood at the door to Kakarot's house, rubbing his hands against each other, becoming increasingly agitated. He reached his hand to the door, pulled back, reached again – he could feel sweat running down his forehead. He couldn't believe he was getting this worked up over his own baby brother!

Finally, he slammed his hand into the door, cracking it slightly. "D-Damn!" He backed away from the door, briefly looking for somewhere to hide. _Oh Gods why am I doing this! This was such a bad idea, Kakarot is going to absolutely slaughter me!_

The door opened. An unassuming-looking woman blinked her eyes at the sight of the strange man standing outside of her house. She had black hair and an expression of curiosity. "Oh, hello?" She leaned forward slightly. "How can I help you, sir?"

Raditz let out a sigh of relief. Was this Kakarot's wife? Oh thanks the _Gods _it hadn't been Kakarot, perhaps he could still get away, perhaps – he heard himself talking, and knew, just _knew _he was digging his own grave. "Yes, hello. Is Kaka..." He frowned. What had his Earth name been? He had heard it several times, including the times when he had watched Kakarot's battles during his time in Hell. Ah, yes! "Is Goku at home?" He cleared his throat quickly. "I need to have a quick word with him."

The woman tilted her head to one side. "Goku?" A glare etched its way across her face, and she put her hands on her hips. "Goku's always making strange new friends without introducing me to them, !"

Raditz shook his head. He was becoming more nervous by the second. "He and I don't talk much, we're...acquaintances." He thought about, for a second, whether or not he should introduce himself. The time he had kidnapped this woman's son would be an awkward memory to recall, the thought would have been laughable had it not been so monstrously terrible.

"Hey, you're one of those Saiyan things!"

"S...Saiyan...things?" Raditz repeated dumbly. "I-I'm sorry!" He had just apologized for being a Saiyan. Raditz had reached a new low. But, he told himself, he just had to get past this foolish woman and convince Kakarot that he was a changed man (even if he wasn't, but that wasn't _his _problem, now was it?).

"Don't you look a little bit familiar? Oh but you're so polite, I'm sure Goku would love to hear from you!"

Raditz let out a mental sigh of relief. He turned around and grabbed his chest, breathing deeply. It was a lot more stressful, being polite about things. He wished he could just burst in, figurative guns ablazin', demanding to see Kakarot under threat of death.

But what kind of impression would that leave?

He heard footsteps approaching the door. His heart became a beating drum in his chest, his breath catching in his throat.

Goku had been pleasantly surprised when Chi Chi had told him that he had a visitor – he was always pleased when he had visitors, although now and then he did get the unfortunate thought, in the back of his head, that someone may be coming to alert him of a new threat (it happened more than one might think). Still, if that _was _the case, he would, at the very least, get the privilege of battling a strong new opponent.

When he saw the other man, for a second or two he did not realize who it was. He had black hair that was long and wild, and wore an expression of guarded malice. He was wringing his hands together as if by nervous habit – and then, he realized it. Raditz. This was_ Raditz_.

Goku's expression darkened and his hands habitually clenched into fists. It seemed as if everything had gone silent – that it was just the two of them, facing off against each other in what could only be described as a particularly intense staring contest.

"Raditz." Goku's tone was one of mistrust; a hint of anger was audible in his voice. "I thought you were dead."

The older Saiyan's urge to clock Kakarot in the face was almost unbearable, and although he could not keep the disdain from his voice, his self-restraint allowed him a reprieve, and he found the willpower to control himself. "I was." He hissed. His body was tense; fear and resentment infiltrated his senses and threatened to take control of his actions. _No. _He must resist making any foolish moves, _particularly _when face to face with one of the men responsible for his death.

"What do you want?" The air around the two of them seemed to get colder, as if the weather itself knew of the seriousness of the situation and had taken upon itself to set the appropriate mood. "I don't want any trouble."

_Oh, how I'd like to give you some..._ Raditz's eyes narrowed. The silence was deafening. "I am not here to cause trouble, brother."

"I've heard that one before. Why don't you come clean and tell me why you're really here? If it's revenge you're after, I'd be more than glad to fight you." He smirked.

A small growl escaped from the back of Raditz's throat. "No, that's not it, I..." he paused, contemplating the best way to phrase what he was about to ask. Finally, he let out a deep sigh. "I need a place to stay for awhile, Kakarot." His voice adopted a snide tone - he did not want his brother to think he was going soft, but at the same time, if he were to be viewed as a threat he would have no chance of getting what he wanted. "Believe me, you're the last person I wanted to ask (a lie, Raditz's desire to confront his brother again had been growing ever since he landed on this miserable little planet), but I don't _know _anyone else on Earth. I can't leave. I have a _job _here (also a lie)."

Goku's darkened gaze became a bit lighter. He wanted to trust his brother, really wanted to – he had always believed that there was some good in everyone, had always condoned giving others a second chance, even when they had done wrong. And for some people, like Vegeta, his instincts had been correct. But then there was Raditz; Raditz, who had betrayed his trust and taken advantage of him even when he had given the other Saiyan a chance to leave Earth in peace. "I'd like to believe you, Raditz!" His tone was friendlier now, although the guardedness had not yet left it. "I really would – but, I don't know – last time I trusted you it almost got me killed."

"Things...are different now." He managed to say. "Look, if you don't believe me, I'll prove it to you – I'll do your housework – cook, clean, laundry, whatever you need; I don't plan on being a mindless freeloader!"  
"Oh wow, you can cook?" Goku was making no attempt to hide his excitement. "Do you think you can cook better than Chi Chi?"

"Of course I can!" Raditz yelled in indignation. "A true warrior knows how to prepare his own meals! Don't tell me you live off apple rinds and garbage whenever you're alone!"

"Well, I did eat a lot of fruit. It's healthy for you! Vegeta says you guys used to eat stuff you found all the time...that doesn't sound like cooking."

"Just forget what Vegeta said!"

"Okay, but he gets angry when I forget things he's told me."

Raditz's fingers went to his temples. He couldn't believe this idiot was his brother. _But, something must be special about him if so many people like him. _The thought was uncomfortable and unfamiliar to him, so he pushed it aside. "Kakarot, please. You know how I am. I have pride. I don't like to beg, but I am imploring you to allow me a chance. I have to scrounge for food every day, I'm lucky if I find a roof to sleep under. I'm stranded on this planet, I have no ship; not even a communicator!"

"Well..." Goku gazed at his brother for a few seconds, trying to gauge whether or not he was lying. "Maybe I could ask Chi Chi."

Raditz said nothing. He was finally getting an in, Kakarot was finally crumbling underneath Raditz's persuasive requests. _Perfect_. He allowed himself a small chuckle, and then immediately straightened up when Kakarot came to the door again, this time with his wife.

Kakarot gave Raditz a thumbs up, and the older Saiyan stole a glance at the woman, who was glaring at him in a rather severe manner. Her hands flew to her hips, and she stabbed on finger into Raditz's chest. "Goku told me _you're _his delinquent brother, you're the one who took our Gohan! If it wasn't for Goku here putting in a good word for you, I wouldn't let you within five miles of our house!"

"S...sorry..." This was all that Raditz could say. He felt like a complete and utter idiot, acting like a big baby in front of a defenseless civilian and, on top of that, believing that a simple apology would make up for a kidnapping.

"Sorry?" Chi Chi's voice went up an octave. "You're sorry? My baby boy had nightmares for years! After that he was so afraid of strangers he wouldn't go near them at all!"

Goku let out a small laugh. "But Chi Chi, I thought you said it was _good _that he was afraid of strangers!"

"Goku that is not the point!"

"Look, Chi Chi, he said he was sorry!" Goku pointed at Raditz. "He won't give us any trouble." The younger Saiyan gave his older brother a knowing glance. "I'll make sure of it."

Raditz swallowed audibly. He'd "make sure of it?" What was _that _supposed to mean? Was that supposed to be a threat? Raditz's expression darkened, but he said nothing.

"You don't look so happy," Goku noted, raising both eyebrows at Raditz. "Come on in, I bet some of Chi Chi's cooking will cheer you up, it always works on me!"

The woman's glare burned into Raditz so intensely that he found he had to avert his eyes for fear of feeling more than mildly uncomfortable. "Alright, I'll make you something to eat, but after this I expect you to be cooking and cleaning all on your own, you do chores in this household just like everyone else!"

Raditz bowed slightly, palms pressed together as if he were praying. "Y-yes, ma'am, of course." _Damn, this woman was almost as terrifying as Kakarot himself! _He admired her ability to command respect, he supposed Kakarot _needed _someone like that, judging by his simple-mindedness, otherwise he'd be all over the place.

And he_ was_ simple-minded, wasn't he? It was ridiculous – laughable, in fact, that a man could be so strong, yet so _dim _at the same time. _But was it all bad_? That hint of doubt crept up in his mind again, unwelcome and uninvited. Kakarot's innocence, his naivety, wasn't there something _charming _about it? _No. Stop it. These are foolish thoughts_. He would never have thought something like this years ago, why had such things found their way into his head now? Even if he stayed with the family, he could not, _would _not, lose his edge – it was the one thing that had instilled within him a sense of confidence. Without it, he was just another (_weaklingcowardloser) _guy. Another average Joe.

With these unfortunate thoughts pushing at the back of Raditz's tired mind, the Saiyan warrior (nomad) followed Kakarot and Chi Chi into the cozy yellow light of their humble household.

After some time, the smell of fresh food began to waft across the house, and Raditz could feel his stomach twisting itself into knots of agonized hunger. He let out a low groan and watched with mild curiosity as Kakarot sprang up to seat himself at the kitchen table.

"Wow, Chi Chi, that smells delicious, what are you making?"

"That's none of your business Goku, because it's not for you, it's for our guest!" Chi Chi brandished a wooden spoon in her husband's direction and Raditz felt an expression of snide satisfaction etching its way across his face. What a tool Kakarot was. "_None for him, all for me_," he whispered, and let out a giggle.

To say that Raditz was hungry was putting it mildly. This morning, his host was able to spare just a loaf of bread and a few pieces of fruit; the rest of the day had been spent traveling with nothing at all to eat. When Chi Chi called for him, the Saiyan made his way to the table rather cautiously, but as soon as the food was set out in front of him he felt his inhibitions falling by the wayside.

Raditz was, perhaps, just as enthusiastic about eating as Goku was; a fact which Chi Chi noted with some amount of distress. He scarfed down the steamed rice and curry as if it were going out of style, any attempts to be polite completely forgotten in his mad frenzy to eat as much as possible as quickly as possible.

It was good, _very _good (perhaps not as good as _he _would have made it, but still an honest attempt). Halfway through the meal, Raditz heaved his feet up on the table, boots and all – Chi Chi's eyes went wide, her face turning an unflattering shade of red. "Hey, Mr. what do you think you're doing?! In this household we keep our dirty shoes off the table! We are not living in a pigsty!"

Before Raditz could react, she had slugged him across the face and upturned his feet off the table. He sat there for a few seconds, dazed, and then glared venomously at the woman. He was about to say something spiteful – would have, in fact, if it were not for the reproachful glance that he received from Kakarot. With a mild sense of interest, the older Saiyan wished he would have had his tracker on him – he couldn't help but wonder about her power level – that punch had _hurt_. He felt the side of his face gingerly. It was already becoming tender. His glare returned, but he said nothing.

This was going to be a long stay.


	3. Training Session

Chapter 3: Training Session

The next few months progressed similarly, with Raditz just barely managing to contain his anger and resentment towards Goku's family; with Goku blissfully unaware of Raditz's pent up aggression; and with Chi Chi being the driving force behind the discipline of both her husband and his freeloading (or so she claimed) brother.

Raditz was, in fact, helping out around the house – and, he would have claimed, he was doing _more _than enough. He had begun to cook for himself and the rest of the family (Chi Chi sure seemed glad _she _didn't have to do it anymore) – Kakarot sure seemed to enjoy his food. Watching him eat it, Raditz felt strange waves of pleasure wash over him. Kakarot, so happy, so simple...

His nephew Goten was getting to know him. The first time they had met, the little half-breed had tugged at Raditz's tail to get his attention. "Uncle Raditz, uncle Raditz – Gee, I didn't even know I _had _an uncle before!"

A shockwave had gone through the Saiyan's body and he had gone down on one knee, body like jell-o. "Kid..." He had managed to whisper, "Don't touch Uncle Raditz there."

Goten let go. "Oops. Sorry. Dad says he had one too when he was a kid!"

Raditz stood up and bonked his nephew on the head, annoyance written all over his face. "Don't you know not to grab people without asking?!"

Goten grabbed his head. "Sorry! Jeez, Dad was right, you _are _a big grump!"

Despite the hapless Goten and the irritable Raditz, the two got along rather passably after that point; Raditz entertained his nephew with tales of his days on the battlefield (although Chi Chi didn't really seem to approve; after all, Raditz had not exactly been fighting for honor and glory, had he?)

There was one particular day, when Goku had outside training, that something particularly bizarre happened.

Raditz was outside with Goku, eating some donuts he had picked up from the store, watching his brother jogging in place and throwing punches at the air. The older brother noticed how toned his younger sibling was; just as toned as he was, but lean – lean muscle, and rippling beneath it, Raditz knew without seeing, was the powerful force of his ki.

_Much more powerful than mine will ever be_. The familiar feeling of shame rippled into the back of Raditz's mind. He was sitting here in the grass, stuffing donuts into his face, watching as his already-strong brother got stronger. Still, Raditz felt a pang of admiration; a feeling which he had long since tried to deny. He was supposed to hate Kakarot, yet here he was, admiring him both in body and spirit.

Goku glanced over at the long-haired Saiyan and stopped jogging in place. "Oy, Raditz – you're not going to get better doing that, you know." He pointed at the man, who frowned self consciously.

"Ey, Kakarot - " He waved a hand quickly, a light blush highlighting his features. "Worry about yourself! I've been training too hard lately, I need a break!" He allowed himself a small grin. _What a fantastic liar he had always been_.

Goku smiled. "I know, let's spar! If I win, you'll share with me - " He pointed at the box of donuts.

Raditz held the box to his chest possessively. "N-no way! I need these!" He looked down at the box, and then up at Kakarot, then back at the box again – then he clenched his fist, a look of wary determination on his face. _Perhaps this was a chance to prove himself, maybe Kakarot would let his guard down while he was hungry. _Maybe, but...

He felt a drop of sweat roll down his face. "Hmph. Fine then. I'll take you on, but I'm not going to lose – and I don't want your wife to come complaining to me when you go crying to her because your big brother beat you up!"

That cheerful smile never left Goku's face. "Ah, Chi Chi – she wouldn't do that!" His eyes narrowed and a small smirk crossed his face. He spread his legs and raised his arms in a fighting stance. "Well?"

Raditz picked himself up off the ground and stood across from his brother. Years ago, he may have stood there, arms crossed, a cocky smile on his face; just _waiting _for Kakarot to come at him. He sensed that this tactic would no longer work. Kakarot was stronger now, a lot stronger. And as for Raditz...how much stronger was _he? _The older brother frowned.

Goku and Raditz stood face-to-face, two of the last remaining members of a dead race, gazing at each other; one with twenty years of fear and resentment, the other with a friendly and easy going determination.

Raditz was the first to move – Kakarot's still body, a sign of his confidence, sparked in the older Saiyan a faint rage – how _dare _he act smug in the face of a top class warrior! A gaze that had been so fearful and angry all of those years ago now held no hint of unrest, Kakarot gave no sign that their fight was anything more than a friendly tiff.

Which, Raditz supposed, it was – and yet, chords of latent anger rose up in the pit of his stomach. He could feel his power level flaring; it was fire, swept by a jealousy so strong that it nearly choked the older Saiyan and left a feeling of painful aridity in his throat. He would not lose.

Raditz's feet were a swift flurry – he noted, briefly, how ungraceful he was in comparison to his younger brother. _His brother was a beautiful example of the Saiyan race_.

In those moments before throwing his first punch, Raditz felt his eyes widen in surprise. So many unwelcome thoughts lately! That was a ridiculous thing to think, Kakarot was everything a Saiyan was not – his compassion, a weakness, his kindness, a fault!

Raditz forced himself to gaze into the eye of hate he held for his brother. It was at this point that he realized that his feelings of hatred, which had been cultivated ever since his defeat at the hands of Kakarot and his Namekian friend all those years ago, was no longer there. It was _gone_. It was this realization that frightened Raditz more than anything, perhaps frightened him more than the thought of his own death.

_Because death doesn't have to change you. And I'm changing_.

His anger grew. He threw a punch, yelling aloud as if feeding force into the blow.

Goku dodged. "Ah! Missed me!" He took a pace backward, sliding his foot along the grass, the other lifted gracefully into the air, and he sidestepped with ease. "Now it's my turn!"

Raditz saw the punch coming at him. Saw it, but could do nothing about it – Kakarot was fast, very fast – the older Saiyan hesitated, his foot twitched.

The punch connected with the side of Raditz's head with the force of 16-wheeler. A blast of glittering stars, like diamonds, erupted before his eyes and danced around him in a whirling frenzy.

And then, blackness.

Goku's eyes widened slightly. He stood up, looking first at his closed fist, and then down at his brother. "It was a good try, but I've been training really hard." The younger brother extended his hand, a bright and cheerful smile dancing across his face. "You're not giving up yet, are you?"

Raditz did not respond.

"Oh...Raditz?" Goku bent down, observing the red and purple blotch which had quickly spread its way across the side of his brother's face. "Ah!" An expression of surprised dismay crossed Goku's face. "I only meant to use a little of my power, was that too much?"

Raditz awoke to the feeling of frigid water being poured over his face and body. He sputtered, his limbs flailing, a protest to the chilling wake up call. "C-c-cold!"

Goku halted his pouring, greeting his sodden brother with the simple relief that he had not been badly hurt. "Raditz!"

Pangs of embarrassment swept through Raditz as he immediately recalled the defeat which he had suffered so easily at the hands of the younger Saiyan. Never before he had been defeated so quickly, not even during the few times that he had sparred with Vegeta back in the days of their comradery under Frieza. He averted his eyes. He could not bare to look at a fighter so gifted as Kakarot.

Goku reached down, hand cupping Raditz's chin, lifting his gaze."You put up a good fight, but I caught you by surprise." Raditz tried to look away, but found he could not. His lower lip trembled, a feeling of self-loathing creeping up within him like an unwelcome fog.

"You got lucky."

"Maybe, but since I won, you have to share those - " He pointed at the box of donuts, which was still sitting in place beside the rock that Raditz had been lounging on.

"No way, those are mine!" There was a single donut left, and Raditz childishly shoved it into his mouth.

Goku puffed up his cheeks. "That's not fair, Raditz, we made a deal!" He lunged forward. Raditz wheeled backward in surprise, back hitting the ground.

Goku's hands gripped his brother's muscular arms, his breath a hot mist in Raditz's face.

Their lips touched. Raditz froze, all strength running out of his body as it did whenever his tail was pulled. Was this real? He could feel the heat of his brother's body, the skin, sticky with sweat. He became suddenly aware of his own body, large and awkward; his mane of hair, feathering out amongst the grass that lay beneath them both.

As if in a dream, Kakarot's tongue forced its way between his lips. The taste of donut was overpowering, the kiss, sweet and fresh and hot. Raditz's eyes went wide – and then, acceptance settled over him, and he closed them, reveling in the pure and innocent passion of their unspoken affection.

Kakarot's tongue explored the inside of his brother's mouth, working against the other tongue, lapping at it gently.

The smell of Kakarot's body was a familiar scent, once associated with feelings of such negativity; yet now, in this moment, Raditz could not find it in him to hate it.

_Maybe_, Raditz thought, _maybe I actually like my brother. Maybe, after all of these years, I actually like him._

Finally, after an eternity, Kakarot pulled back, gazing at Raditz with a triumphant smile. Chewing, he raised his arms into the air, hands forming into fists. "See, I got some of your doughnut after all!"

For a long while, Raditz said nothing, surprised. And then, he burst out laughing.

If he was smart, he would probably run while he still could. But, of course, that had never been what Raditz was known for.


	4. Dreams

**Author's note: If anyone is wondering about the dream Raditz has regarding his father, it is a reference to one of the events in Budokai Tenkaichi 2. You should all totally check it out if you're a fan of Raditz and/or Bardock. :)**

Chapter 4: Dreams

It had not been a kiss. The thought, which had so reassured him not an hour ago, now seemed to haunt him - the apparition was a fog, drifting in the back of his mind, making it difficult to think clearly. _What was it he had felt again in those maddening seconds in which his brother's lips had been pressed against his?_ It had felt like a dream. He had been frozen, unable to move - the air had been so thick that, had he been breathing at all, he was sure he would choke on it. There had been no sound; he and Kakarot were the only two people in existence; even the birds had seemed to quiet in the trees, the smell of fresh green grass and the sticky sweat of Kakarot's body a strange and pleasant combination.

_He had enjoyed it._ This fact greeted him sordidly, forcing its way into his guarded mind like an unwelcome house guest. It was odd, he thought, that he had felt anything for the experience at all - the resentment and jealousy he felt towards his brother were undeniable, they had not simply vanished during the moment in which the two had so passionately locked lips. They were still there. Sure, the hatred was gone, but those other feelings...they were _strong_, weren't they? And, somehow, these were _good_ feelings. Good feelings, because they were _familiar_. Good feelings because they meant, in some way, that perhaps Raditz had not lost everything that made him who he was.

And yet, Raditz admired Kakarot. His strength was undeniable - hidden beneath the taught muscles of Kakarot's sculpted body was an energy so powerful that it could have destroyed worlds; perhaps even entire galaxies. Although Raditz had never possessed the ability to perceive ki, he understood and sensed the destructive potential behind his brother's latent energy. And yet, Kakarot chose to harness this remarkable ability with heroism and kindness. Raditz had looked down upon this, had scorned it the way he had scorned weaklings and cowards. But, perhaps, he had been wrong. Because Kakarot was (strong). Stronger, even, than Vegeta, who Raditz had so adored and admired during his service under the Saiyan prince.  
What had been the difference between the two of them? A low class warrior, rising above the elite with a strength so incomprehensible that even the mighty galactic tyrant Frieza could not face it without defeat.

He found himself wondering vaguely what Gine and Bardock would have thought of him now (he had taken to calling them that, "Gine and Bardock," partly because he told himself that his mental divide with the two of them had become somewhat of a canyon, partly because he realized they may have thought him a rather comical weakling). Would they think him silly, looking up to his brother, who fought not for the Saiyan race, but for his friends and family and the people of Earth? Would they scorn him for the touches of earnest affection he felt for the man he had once held so much hate for? The love?

His breath hitched in his throat. _Love_. Is _that _what he felt? It had been nearly six months now, and during that six months the developing bond between the two brothers had strengthened. What had at first been a mission to investigate the family, find out what made them tick, had turned into true _involvement_. He was becoming _one _of them, perhaps already was. This thought was so powerful, so bitter-sweet, that it made Raditz feel a little ill.

Love. It was hidden, buried beneath the remnants of bitter feelings he had held for so many years, but it was _there_.

This was his _brother_. His flesh and blood. The last remnant of what was once a broken family, made whole again. Was this what it felt like to have a family, a _real _family? Even Chi Chi did not seem to harbor as much negativity towards him as she had when they had first met. The fact that he was enjoying this life, actually _enjoying _it... He shuddered slightly. He was becoming like Kakarot, but what could he do about it? On planet Vegeta, the culture had molded him into a pitiless warrior – Earth seemed to be undoing everything he had been made to be, and the realization was more than a little frightening.

_But what can I do? This is what I wanted_. The truth of this statement was difficult to bear. He had _wanted _this, had _sought it out_. He had wanted revenge, surely – at first, at least. But hadn't the true search been for _purpose_ ? His revenge was still unfound, his purpose...  
His mind trailed off. He found that he was glaring darkly, fingers laced together, his knuckles white.

OooOoOoOo

Later that week, Chi Chi announced that she was going to visit her father for a few days. The Ox King had been wanting to spend some time with his daughter, and since Raditz seemed to be managing the household well enough, she trusted the three of them to keep things in liveable condition while she was away.

Goku had been a little surprised at the short notice, but he hadn't seemed to have minded terribly much and had wished Chi Chi well on her trip.

As they were saying their goodbyes, Raditz felt a strange feeling of foreboding wash over him. He gazed at his brother from the corner of his eye. Although he had no telepathic abilities, the older Saiyan couldn't help but think that Kakarot was planning something. Ever since the incident in which they had gone mouth-to-mouth during a spat over the last remaining donut, Kakarot had been acting _different_. Raditz couldn't exactly point out what this difference was; perhaps he was being nicer, more empathetic? Whatever is was, felt _nice_. Nice, but odd, like an exotic new food, the taste of which was strange and pleasant and new.  
It was that night that Raditz would find out what exactly it was that his brother was planning. Even though he had expected it, in a strange and subtle way, the question still caught him somewhat by surprise.

"Hey, Raditz," Goku rubbed the back of his head. He wasn't sure whether or not the other Saiyan would find his question odd – _he _didn't think it strange at all, but Goku was smart enough to know that what _he _thought was odd and what _other _people thought was odd were often two very different things. Still, the strange longing that had been floating at the back of his mind ever since his brother had begun to make a place for himself in the household was becoming difficult to bear. "Don't you get lonely at night, sleeping by yourself?"

Raditz ran a hand through his hair, stopping mid-stroke to glance at Goku with a steely-blue gaze. "Lonely?" He frowned lightly. "It's not bad, I've slept alone for as long as I can remember." Something in his mind didn't click.

"I thought you could use some company."

Raditz stared for a few seconds, gauging whether or not this was truly a serious suggestion. _Kakarot wasn't kidding_. He stood up suddenly, knocking over the chair he had been sitting on, his face becoming a brilliant shade of red. "N-now wait just a minute! Are you suggesting you want to sleep with me!?" He shoved his hands out in front of him and waved them frantically, as if to ward off his brother's advances. "No way, Kakarot, I only sleep with women!"

"But Vegeta told me-"

"He wouldn't tell you something like that!" Raditz roared. "It happened _once_!" He slapped his hand over his mouth, his face redder than ever.

"So you did sleep with him!" Goku smiled, rocking forward on his toes and looking at Raditz with a quizzical gaze. Raditz sure was odd. What was this nonsense about only sleeping with girls, anyway? "Oy, Raditz, I don't get why you'll only sleep with women – I sleep with boys all the time."

Raditz screamed. This was too much for him. Was Kakarot really this dense, or was he just messing with Raditz, fooling around with him like a cat with a mouse? "K-Kakarot, _you _know what I mean, _you're _the one with kids, you 'do the do' more than me!"

"'Do the do?'" Goku repeated after his brother, not understanding.

"Kakarot, just forget it – I'm not sleeping with you." Raditz's expression became sour, his eyes narrowing slightly. The feverish blush still played its way across his face. The thought of sleeping with his brother, sleeping with him _that _way – how did he feel about that, exactly?

"Alright, if you're sure. But it could be fun – like a sleepover!"

_It's not some fucking sleepover, you're playing games with my heart! _The thought was a lunatic, frantic scream in his head. Raditz frowned and pushed it away. _Better not think too hard about it_.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

That night, Raditz fell asleep rather quickly. He had found that he was tireder than usual, although he was not sure exactly why this was (embarrassingly, he had still not been training, despite Kakarot's repeated urges that he do so).

As the waves of sleep slowly began to wash over him and a comforting blackness surrounded him, Raditz found himself beginning to dream.  
He stood face-to-face with Kakarot, his brother's normally-friendly face awash with an angry determination. Raditz looked behind him, but there was no one there. Kakarot was looking at him. Raditz found that he could not control his body. He stood there, arms crossed in front of his chest, tail wrapped around his waist as it always was. His left eye, tinted with green – the tracker. He frowned, but his expression did not change. He wore a smile. Confident, powerful.  
He could hear himself talking about something, but he was not thinking about the conversation. He watched the scene as though he were watching something on TV.

"You're a disgrace to the Saiyan race!" He heard that part. And then he realized, he was watching his last moments alive. Fear laced through him like ice. _No! _He screamed. _No! Don't fight him! Please!_ His body didn't listen. He tried to close his eyes as the scene played out, but he was unable to look away.

He was winning, at first, just as he had nearly won when they had their first fight. He tuned his mind out during most of it, separating himself from the battle. He didn't like it. Didn't like Kakarot being angry at him. Didn't like the knowledge that he would soon die again.

Kakarot had him by the tail. He felt his mind rush painfully back into his body, and he let out a small choking sound. "Kakarot, please let me go, I'll leave Earth peacefully, I'll - " he barely heard himself saying these words. His body was unable to move. It was painful, but his cock was becoming hard at the feeling of Kakarot's strong hands around the furry length of his tail. A torrent of shame and fear showered down upon him and he felt as though he were about to cry, but no tears came.

Release.

He sighed. The rest of the battle played out as it had before, ending with Raditz caught from behind by his brother. He tried to say _I'm sorry, Kakarot, I'm not like this anymore, I won't hurt you or anyone else! _But instead, a slur of desperate begging erupted from between his lips, begging to be spared, claiming again that he would leave Earth if _only _they would release him.

His eyes would not close.

The fear was overpowering. He _knew _he was different, _knew _he wasn't like other Saiyans, that he was afraid of death in a way that they were not. A coward.  
_Pain_. His chest exploded with pain, and then everything went black.

Raditz began to cry. He hunched over, hands buried in his long, black, Saiyan locks. His body heaved. The pain had faded already, but the shock of it still stabbed him like a knife.

After a few minutes, Raditz raised his watery gaze to gauge his surroundings. He was not in the afterlife, as he had at first suspected. He didn't recognize the area, although he could tell that he was somewhere on planet Vegeta. _Planet Vegeta_. Strange, it had been destroyed, hadn't it? Maybe this _was _the afterlife, after all.

There was someone standing there, looking down at him, but his face was obscured by shadows. Raditz squinted. "K...Kakarot?" _No. No, it wasn't Kakarot._  
_It was Bardock._

"D...Daddy..." Raditz felt, all of a sudden, as if he were a small child again. A child, who had just lost a fight during one of his training sessions with one of the bigger kids. Bardock had seen him crying. Oh Gods, that _shame – _it was back, and now it seemed powerful enough that, had it been tangible, he might have _tasted _it.

Bardock said nothing, but extended a hand.

Raditz looked at it and then, tears dripping down his face, took it. Bardock pulled him to his feet. He had never stood by his father as a full-grown adult, and realized how much wider and taller he was than him. "Raditz."

"Daddy, I..." he sniffed, wiping a single hand across his nose. "I lost."

"It's okay."

He could not bear looking into those eyes, which held so much strength, just like his brother. Goddammit, why couldn't _he _be strong, his family was full of low class warriors – yet all of them, all of them except for _him_, had so much potential.

"I'm sorry...sorry I couldn't be more like you, like _him_..." He said, curtly. "I'm...I'm a weakling." He admitted this, dread bubbling up inside of him. To disappoint his father – it was hard, so _damn _hard.

"I don't care, you're still my son."

Raditz woke up.

He sat up on his futon, eyes wet with tears. It had been a dream, just a dream. He let out a long, low sigh, and then got up. The floor was cold beneath his bare feet. He could feel his body trembling slightly, the memories of his dream still fresh in his mind.

He entered Kakarot's room. "K...Kakarot?" He called out. His voice was thin and weak. "Kakarot?"

"Raditz?" Goku opened one eye, lazily. He had thought that his brother hadn't wanted to sleep with him, so what was he doing here?"

The room was blanketed by darkness, but Raditz could faintly make out the outline of his brother lying beneath the blankets on the far side of the room. The sight was comforting. It made him realize he was still _here_, still alive. "Kakarot, I..." He bit his lip. "I had a bad dream...is it...is it still okay if I sleep with you?" The sheer childishness of this statement threatened to overwhelm the ashamed Saiyan, but that's what he felt like – a child. He needed the touch of his brother to show him that everything was still alright with the world.

Goku propped himself up on one elbow and gave Raditz a wide and inviting smile, such a pleasant contrast to the angry grimace that had haunted the older Saiyan's dreams. "Sure, hop in! There's plenty of room!"

And Raditz did.


	5. Family Bonds

**A/N: This and the next chapter are rated "M" versions of a story that was originally rated "MA." If anyone is interested in reading the unedited version please contact me for more information. :)**

Chapter 5: Family Bonds

Goku lay in bed with his brother – Raditz faced away from him, but Goku could tell he was trembling slightly. It was cold in their house. Goku shifted the blanket over to Raditz. "You'll be warmer if you take this," he said, his voice gentle and concerned.

Raditz grit his teeth and shoved the blanket back at Goku. "I don't need your filthy blanket!" He curled up more tightly, willing Kakarot to stop paying him any heed. "You think a true Saiyan would take charity from a traitor?"

"Huh? Well you wanted to stay with us, right?" A hint of confusion was obvious in the other Saiyan's voice.

"I do hate you, I just needed a place to stay!" Raditz sat up in bed and glared at the other man. "You don't get it, do you? It's not fun or easy living by yourself, _especially _when you have no money! At least when I was under Frieza's command I had the ship!"

"Oh yeah!" Goku smiled brightly. "I used to live on my own a lot as a kid!" He frowned slightly, scratching his head. "I thought it was pretty fun."

"Kids think stupid things like that are fun." Raditz frowned, mind trailing off to the dream that he had had prior to joining his brother in bed.

_I'm a weakling._

_I don't care, you're still my son._

His father, watching over Kakarot and Raditz from the Otherworld, his father _knew _how weak Raditz was. _Knew it but didn't care_. Didn't think any less of him.

But Raditz was another story.

He recalled, shamefully, the time he had been battling Kakarot – the time his brother had grabbed his tail. It was hard to forget, after that dream. It was not just the pain which sent a wave of embarrassment coursing through him, it was the way in which he had felt a revolting wave of arousal – his cock had become a hard stick in his armor. And, in his dream...

The others, Vegeta and Nappa, had never known that his tail had remained untrained. Had they known, he was sure they would have had him kicked out of Frieza's service, or worse – he could hear their jeering now, their laughing.

Raditz had _tried_ training his tail, even as a child, he had _tried_. But with improvement came the pain, and the pain was so great that he did not have the willpower to push through it – Saiyans were a warrior race, they were _supposed _to be able to take the pain, but..he could not. And this embarrassed him greatly.

The thought that he would be better off without it had become an increasingly strong presence in his mind. _The Saiyan's tail is the key to unlocking his or her greatest potential. _Sure, that was all well and good, and Raditz certainly believed it to be true, but part of him had come to hate it, for it was his tail that revealed Raditz's true weakness, and it was not only that.

The full moon. He was _scared _of the fucking full moon. Sure, he boasted about the Saiyans' ability to turn into a great ape when he or she looked at it, but...shame filled Raditz's heart again. He could not control himself in that form. When it happened, he became paralyzed – and then, after that, everything went black, and his mind went haywire.

It was useless. It was _useless _without the ability to control your own body. It wasn't fair, _none _of this was fair! He was a warrior! A great Saiyan warrior! He...

Raditz felt tears standing out in the corners of his eyes. He looked at his brother through his watery field of vision.

"What's wrong?" Kakarot's voice was full of genuine concern. All Raditz had ever done for him was beat the life out of him and kidnap his son, and here he was, acting as if they had had a brotherly bond ever since birth – it made Raditz angry and confused, and...and, there was something else, too. What was this other feeling?

Goku could see that his brother was crying. He held no resentment towards him, the older Saiyan no longer claimed to be a threat, and Goku believed him. The younger brother reached out and took the other man into his arms, holding him tightly. "Hey, now," He said cheerfully, "Don't worry – you're here, and safe right? So there's nothing to worry about!"

"I'm not crying!" Raditz growled, his voice cracking. Even as he said this, tears ran down his face and dripped onto the pillow. A small hiss escaped from between his teeth and his hands went to his face in a futile attempt to hide from his brother the emotional outburst that he was having.

"Raditz, it's okay you know..." Goku stroked his brother's hair, which was surprisingly soft and thick – he had expected it to be a tangled mess, but it seemed as though Raditz took better care of himself than Goku had thought. "Crying, I mean. It's okay."

"I..." the older Saiyan bit his lip, trying to stem the flow of tears but doing nothing more than causing himself more pain. "K-Kakarot...I'm..." He wrinkled his nose, trying to find the words for what he was about to say. "I'm a _top class warrior!_" These words seemed to trigger something in Raditz, and he burst into tears, hiding his face in his hands and burying his head in his brother's chest.

Goku smiled, arms still cradling Raditz's shaking body. "Of course you are, Raditz! You know, you almost had me beat back when we first fought – I bet if I hadn't taken you by surprise during our training you'd really give me a run for my money!"

"N...no..." Raditz sobbed. "I'm s-_supposed _to be a top class warrior, b-but I'm not! I'm weak! My power level hasn't even surpassed 2,000!" He hiccuped slightly. His face was red from crying, and from the embarrassment of showing this kind of emotion to his long lost brother. "I'm worthless! Frieza should have thrown me out with the garbage where I belonged!"

A frown creased across Goku's face. "You're not worthless, I know plenty of people who don't fight and none of them are worthless!

"You don't get it, _do you_?" Raditz's voice was full of loathing, though, in reality, it was more his own faults which seemed to goad him into anger. "I'm a _Saiyan_. I'll forgive you, because you know nothing of our race, but in _our _culture your value is determined by your ability as a warrior; an ability which I have very little of!"

"That's silly!"

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, it's just silly. Here on Earth, everyone has value, even if they can't fight. It depends on how you behave – or well, how you think."

"Oh can it! Gine was always going _on _about how I had become a warrior working under the king's son! You didn't _hear _her, Kakarot, _you _don't know how it _is – _to hear your mother praising you, when you _know_ you'll never live up to it! With our parents dead as dirt, no one gives a shit about me anymore because _I'm _no good at fighting! You can't talk because _everyone _loves you!"

Goku reached over, taking his brother's face in both hands, and kissed him on the lips.

Raditz recoiled violently, throwing a punch at his brother's face. He grabbed the blankets and pulled them towards him. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Ouch!" Goku rubbed his cheek and then blinked at Raditz, confused. "I was just trying to show you what it's like to be loved – we did this before, remember?"

"Coming from you it's not a compliment!" Raditz's face was a bright red. He could feel that he was lying, that something in him had _liked _that kiss, and the utter revulsion of this realization horrified him.

"Saiyans are weird about that too, huh?" Goku questioned. He still did not know all there was to know about Saiyan culture – he didn't want to offend his brother – if he had done so, he would have to apologize for misunderstanding Raditz's wishes.

Raditz's tail frizzed up as he pulled the covers even closer to his face, trying to hide the blush that had painted itself across his cheeks. "Saiyans do not make it a point of being kissed by their mortal enemies, Kakarot! You don't just _do _that without asking!"

"But we did it before!"

"Last time you were trying to steal my food, not kissing me!" Raditz made no move to come any closer to Kakarot. So Kakarot didn't feel any differently towards him than he did with any other friend? Did the idiot even realize what kind of mixed messages that sent out? For Gods' sake, if he felt this way about Raditz, how did he feel about his wife?

_Calm down, Raditz, calm down_. He took a deep breath. It had just been a kiss; a little unusual but nothing downright dirty. This is his _brother _he was talking about, his brother wouldn't think of him that way...would he? Still...

"Can I show you? It's really nice, I promise!"

Raditz felt a wave of heat pass over him. _Oh Gods, he _wanted _it. _He looked at Kakarot through half-lidded eyes, that grumpy expression plastering itself across his face. "If you do it with my permission it's okay." His expression soured further. "You can do it, just don't think this means I like you, I'm just curious to see how _bad _you are at it."

"Okay, but I won't disappoint you!"

Raditz couldn't believe he was _agreeing _to this, couldn't believe he actually _wanted _it! Their lips touched. He could feel Kakarot's hands on his back; there was such strength behind those hands! To be kissed by a warrior as accomplished as his brother – _that _was something a Saiyan could _brag _about.

The younger Saiyan was a little clumsy at kissing, but he put such passion into it that it didn't much matter.

Raditz felt his whole face go hot as Kakarot's tongue forced its way into his mouth. In an act of defiance, he thrust his own against his brother's, attempting to force it back where it belonged.

Goku wasn't having any of it, apparently; his desire to explore every inch of his brother's body wasn't about to be stemmed by Raditz's rogue tongue. He hadn't seen him in nearly twenty years, had never known him up until a few months ago; now was the time to learn.

Raditz's tongue retreated back into his mouth, Goku's pressing against it, easily overpowering it the way he would easily overpower Raditz in a battle of strength should they ever decide to spar again.

The older Saiyan submitted, and Goku kissed him deeply, his tongue tickling the back of Raditz's throat.

For a long while, Raditz felt as if it would just be the two of them, forever, entwined in a passionate kiss. It was a good feeling, a fact which caused a pang of guilt to erupt in the older Saiyan's chest. He shouldn't be enjoying this – he didn't _love _his brother...perhaps he didn't hate him anymore (if Kakarot was lucky), but _love_? _Romantic _love, no less? The thought was ridiculous!

Finally, Goku pulled back. Raditz could feel himself panting as he finally drew breath again, his whole body had gone hot, his face was a brilliant red. "K...Kakarot..."

"Your tail!" Goku said suddenly. He sounded just as cheerful as ever; Raditz could hardly believe he could keep his cool in a situation like this.

"What?" Raditz looked down. His tail was between his legs. He didn't see anything odd about it.

"Well, I thought maybe we could play with it! You know, it could be a lot of fun!"

"We are not 'playing' with my tail you idiotic buffoon!" Raditz nearly screamed in a combination of fear and anger, snatching his tail and holding it close to him before Goku could even make a move.

"Awww, Raditz - " Goku's face became an exaggerated pout. "Look, let me just show you!"

"No, don't come any closer!" Raditz backed up so far that he nearly fell out of the bed. "I swear I will beat you to within an inch of your life if you even think of touching me there!"

"Oh well, have it your way – but it might feel good!"

_It might feel good_. The blush returned to Raditz's face. It probably _would _feel good, but did Raditz trust his goofball of a brother to be gentle with such a fragile part of his body? The idiot would probably squeeze it or pull it, goddammit his tail was _not _a toy. But...

"I won't hurt you."

Raditz, much to his own dismay, felt himself releasing the grip he had on his tail. He watched in a dreamlike state as it fell across Kakarot's lap. "Please...please be gentle..." The man had never heard his own voice sound so far away and so _vulnerable_; it was enough to make him sick (or would have been had he not completely and utterly agreed to being touched in his weak spot by his long-estranged brother).

Goku began to rub his fingers up and down his brother's tail, massaging it with his fingertips, stroking the soft brown fur with more care than Raditz would ever have imagined was possible from someone with as much brute force behind him as Kakarot.

Waves of pleasure erupted across Raditz's body; he felt a tingling in his pelvis as his cock trembled in response to Kakarot's touch, and he let out a low moan. _Oh Gods, Kakarot was seeing him like this! _Before long, Kakarot would notice that Raditz was beginning to become aroused, and then what? Embarrassment flooded Raditz's mind; his fingers gripped the bedding on either side of him, his tail rested comfortably in Kakarot's gentle grasp.

"...Kakarot..." he whispered. Finding words in such a circumstance was more difficult than he had thought. His dick throbbed. He squeezed his legs together, wondering if this had been Kakarot's intention from the beginning.

"Hey, look, it feel good right?" Raditz opened his eyes. Kakarot was gazing in an insultingly cheerful manner at the bulge in his brother's pajamas. Raditz stuck his hands between his legs in a futile attempt to hide his budding boner. "No, you idiot! You didn't see anything, you hear me?!"

"But I did!" Kakarot sounded a bit disappointed, perhaps he had been proud of himself for getting his brother off (Raditz shouldn't have been surprised that Kakarot was such a sick bastard). "I saw how hard you were," a hint of mischief had crept its way into the younger Saiyan's voice, "I can help you with that."

"H-help me?!"

Kakarot wasted no opportunity. He bent down over his brother's chest, planting soft kisses down his neck. Raditz's heart felt funny. He wasn't sure he liked the feeling – Gods, what was Kakarot _doing _to him? Why did he _feel _like this? He had never felt like this before, not even for a woman!

_I think I love him_.

Oh, _Gods _no – this was his _brother_! Everything in him screamed that the feelings he was having were _wrong_, that they were _bad_.

_Please, Gods, don't let me fall in love with him, please_.

Kakarot's lips encircled Raditz's nipple, his tongue swirled around the firm tip, teasing the tiny hole. Raditz moaned again. He could feel the nipple going hard beneath the wetness of Kakarot's mouth.

Kakarot was so damn good at this, _why _was simpleton like him so _good? Oh, that's right, he has a wife. _The thought of it erupted in Raditz a powerful jealousy and he found himself imagining what it would be like to be Chi Chi. _Stop it. _He chided himself. _What's _wrong _with you? _

Kakarot's tongue moved to the other nipple; he suckled on it tenderly and then moved his lips to Raditz's belly, which trembled beneath the younger Saiyan's gentle kisses.

Oh Gods, this was becoming too much for Raditz. He wanted, _needed _his brother to go all the way, all of this business was just toying with him!

"Stop." His tone was firm, aggravated, filled with frustration. He looked at Kakarot with a begrudging glance.

Goku looked up from what he was doing. "Oh, I'm sorry, am I doing something wrong?" He pulled back a bit. "I don't do this a lot." He rubbed the back of his head and laughed in that nervous way of his.

Raditz felt his mind going a bit foggy, and everything suddenly seem so horrendously funny. He knew what was going to happen, but he couldn't stop it.

"Please..." Raditz gazed at Kakarot with large, imploring eyes. "Fuck me, Kakarot, please fuck me!"


End file.
